The Side of Me I Don’t Let Anyone See

Video is my challenge. My achilles heal.

[This is for my TikTok family, but I want to start letting you all in, too.]

The past 5 days, I have been in a PMDD(Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) flare.

And not the kind you can yoga or gratitude your way out of.

The kind where your skin itches from the inside. Where your own hormones feel like poison. Where you snap at nothing and everything, and hate yourself mid-sentence.

It’s like my nervous system is having an allergic reaction to being alive.

And the worst part?

I know it’s not me.
But it feels like me.
And during this time, I hate filming myself.
God forbid you see that side of me.

The rage. The grief. The hate I didn’t ask for.

But I recorded a few clips.

Messy ones.
Mad ones.
The kind I’d normally delete.

But something told me to keep them.
And now something’s telling me to share.

Once you see them, I can’t take them back.
But maybe someone out there needs to know…
They’re not the only one living with this kind of storm.

Stay tuned to see if I’m brave enough to share…

— AudraHealing out loud, so you don't have to heal in silence.